More Than A Memory
by trench.adore
Summary: Temari's flashbacks are coming in the form of nightmares, and she's struggling to keep her independence. While on an extended mission to Konoha, Temari tries to deal with it alone, but one shinobi isn't allowing it. ShikaTema 33


**Disclaimer; Naruto is owned by Kishi ;D I just made this story 'cause I felt like it.**

A/N; Bear with me guys c: and this is going to be like.. Forward in time two years and aspogjdslkg just imagine Temari in her clothes from the Summit (; Also, I'm up-to-date with the manga, so everything in this story is slightly manipulated- but, I do know what I'm talking about xD.

**Flashback;**

I'd been speaking with Kankurou in an attempt to relax him after we had witnessed Gaara effortlessly murder yet another civilian. I was busy holding tightly onto my brother when _he_ entered. I pulled Kankurou tighter into the hug as he whimpered, and soothingly rubbed his back. I didn't even have a time to take a breath before the man started at it. Kankurou burrowed his head against my shoulder with a sad sigh, and I felt myself growing more and more hatred towards… _him._

"I heard that we had yet another incident with the boy today. Haven't you learned to control him yet, you two? Better yet, why haven't you found a way to _kill_him? That boy is ruining my village. As if our population wasn't minuscule enough compared to other villages.. And now we have a fucking monster killing people off like no other?"

I squeezed Kankurou tightly, before releasing him from my embrace. He stayed close to me for a few moments before scurrying to a hallway to our left.

"This is all your fault! Who are you to blame him? You're the idiot who sealed the real monster away into an innocent little boy."  
>"How dare you speak to me like that, I am your Kazekage!" My father's hands reached out to grab the collar of my shirt.<br>"Oh we are **all** well aware you're our Kazekage, because Kami forbid you act like our _father_!"  
>"Ungrateful little-!" He cut himself off before he could utter the final word; probably something resembling bitch or some other swear word I had heard a million times before. It was his first thing that even mildly said 'daddy'… Stopping himself from calling his only daughter a bitch. This time.<p>

"Ungrateful? I **am** grateful, grateful every night that my brothers and I make it to our beds. I am grateful every time the day ends without a fight or a death. I am grateful every time that you have to leave. You're the _cause of all our problems_!"

"Shut your mouth damnit! You will not speak to me in such a way! Stop acting like you love Gaara so much, because we all know you despise him as much as the next person." I twitched at that and my small, 10-year-old fists clenched inward tightly.

"No! **_You_** shut your damn mouth! You know nothing of my relationship with Gaara, because you couldn't care less about Gaara, Kankurou, or me! You've wanted him dead since our mother died, but that was _also_your fault, wasn't it Kazekage-sama? Do you regret it? So power hungry that you had to use your wife's life to seal a monster into your youngest son?" I glared at him, watching as his face tightened and he reached out to hit me so roughly I tumbled to the ground- hard. My father turned around as I tried to catch my breath. I could already see myself waking up to fresh green bruises.

"Temari, when will you ever learn? You useless child, why don't you become strong and make something of yourself. Make me almost happy you're alive." He looked back at me coldly, his eyes narrowed and dark. I nearly froze where I was, but instead I scrambled to my feet, my jaw clenched tight.

"Go die." I seethed, turning on my heel and stumbling out of the room before he could whip around and smack me across the face. I stormed into my bedroom, slamming my white knuckles into the wall with all my strength. I could feel blood come to my knuckles, but instead of cracking and bleeding they only began to bruise. That was my fourth fight with my father _that week,_ and I was beginning to loathe the sheer idea of him even coming around _my_ family.

The sound of my father leaving was one I had long trained myself to determine, and it was only seconds after I punched the wall that I was granted with that sound.

**Love you too, daddy…**

The sarcasm I heard in my head was so thick I thought I might have to vomit just to get rid of the extra weight. My body slid to the ground against the wall and I buried my face in my legs, my arms wrapped snuggly around them. I wept into them slowly, trying to hold in my sobs but they only continued to rack my body ruthlessly. I tried to be silent was best as I could, because Kami forgive me if I let Kankurou hear me crying. My body began to tremor with the intensity of the silent weeping that was breaking my insides all at once. The walls of this house were beginning to feel more and more like my own prison- no…Prison sounded good.

**I'm nine. Nine years old, and yet I have the maturity, experience, and the vocabulary of a mother.**

I fell asleep like that a few hours later, and was disturbed only half an hour later when my brother wandered into my room, gently shaking my body.

"T-Temari?.. I had a nightmare…" I groggily blinked my eyes, hoping that there were no traces of my tears left as I slowly pushed myself into a squat. I forced a smile to my lips as I got to my feet, and helped Kankurou to his.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?.." I nodded and helped my brother to my bed, and helped him into the bed with me. He instantly cuddled into me and fell asleep. For a moment, I felt needed again. I actually forgot all the words I had heard over the week- forgot all the times I had been followed while with my brothers because they were relentlessly calling us "Freaks" and forgot all the times I had only for a minute.

**/end Flashback**

Temari's flashbacks were beginning to come in the form of nightmares, and all too often. The realistic nature of the nightmares were beginning to get to her, because it wasn't until recently these long-since bottled up memories had began to pour out. Every night they seemed to get progressively worse, and every night Temari would awaken, shunning them away to the best of her ability. Her nightmares occurred almost every night, and would leave her with minimal rest. All these events created a snowball effect; causing Temari to be.. Irritable, or too tired to even argue, which was odd to say the least.

This particular flashback shook her up, because the fights she had experienced with her father growing up scarred her permanently. Those scars were the blocks she had used to build her almost impenetrable wall that protected the inner sanctum of her heart. Anyone who knew Temari could vouch to say that she was a brick; although she _could_ be nice to people, she didn't let them in. Temari had a distinct lack of "friends" that didn't seem to bother her, but that was the result of her own actions. Her father, and her village, had made it difficult to even _want _to let people into her life.

People weren't allowed to see her true side. The soft side, open side, loving side, any side that involved a chance for weakness. In her family; weakness was unacceptable. Prohibited. Frowned upon. Whatever phrase you wanted to use, but each and every one worked; because this family allowed nothing of the sort.

Temari opened her eyes, sitting up and slapping her hands to her face as a single shudder shook her spine.  
>"Fuck." She looked out the window, frowning at the lack of light that shined into it. It was dark outside, and from the looks of it appeared as though it would stay that way for a few more hours. Temari was feeling shaken up from her dream, and decided it would be an utter loss to even attempt to sleep, so in exchange she stands up, heading off to shower. She washed the memories out of herself like she did every morning- getting dressed and deciding she might as well head out. Today she was due to begin a trip to Konohagakure- three days.<p>

The flashback haunted her the whole trip, and the nightmare reoccurred every night; following each event exactly as it had happened; only making it worse. She had to admit she was extremely glad to be spending an extended mission in Konohagakure for some diplomatic matters, but also some down time. At least here she wasn't haunted with the memories of her childhood as much.

Sunagakure had her heart- forever. Konohagakure just had… This relaxing appeal for her when she was in a time of need such as this. A need for a non stressful night where she could sit back, do her work, and go to sleep without being tormented by the awful low points of her youth. Temari arrived nearly a day and a half early, because she traveled almost the whole time and only rested when she needed to. The sooner the better; she could rest when she arrived. The guards looked at her strangely for a few moments before sitting up straight, giving her a welcoming nod.

"Temari-san! Welcome back once again. You're early, are you not?" One asked, peering at her curiously as she walked over to their post, her hand covering her mouth as she yawned.

"Yes. I got an early morning start, and traveled nearly the whole time." She had slept once, and stopped for a small rest twice, but other than that she had kept the pace up and going.

"Well, your escort is not expecting your arrive until tomorrow evening, but you're welcome to go inside. We're sure you know your way around already." They wave her through and she bows her respects, walking through the gates into the village slowly, stopping a few feet in to take in a short breath and eye the village.

Temari let her arrival be none to Tsunade; but after that she scuttled off to the apartment she was settled into every time she visited her village's ally. Throwing her bag onto the ground, she slowly closed her eyes to gather a second wind. There were still hours left in her day, but there was nothing for her to do, and sleep sounded great right now…

Temari fell asleep in a matter of minutes, but found herself falling back into the same pattern.


End file.
